Memories... of Last October!

Celebrating the memories of a year ago...
Our Twin Girlies!!

Nataly Grace...

Noelle Elizabeth...

Two of Me?

I recently read an extremely insightful online book by David Wilkerson titled, "Two of Me: The Struggle with Sin." I found so many nuggets of wisdom and heard God's voice speak to me through so many of the words, I thought I would copy my journal notes here.

1) We are all SINNERS (surprise:)
(Actually, being surrounded with upper middle class suburban Christians in just about every area of my life, sometimes I forget this truth!)
Sin primarily manifests itself in two ways:
a. Appearing insignificant and harmless
b. Seeming intoxicating and pleasurable and cozy creating a counterfeit peace so that
the sinner does not FEEL like he is sinning.
*The satisfaction that sin creates is based on illusion. It is a false freedom founded on error and when the illusions fades, there is nothing left but sorrow and despair.
*Sin leads to depression. Sin causes PRIDE and Pride aborts all desire for the truth and righteouness.
*Sin causes total self-delusion. It causes its victims to become unacquainted with themselves so they don't know what they really think. (confusion and ambivalence)
*Sin is most desperate in a sinner when he is hearing the Call of God!!
*The cause of the deepest internal distress is the maintaining of some SECRET SIN:(

2) Our sins make us SLAVES
*You can never find deliverance from your sin until you accept your responsibiltiy to deal with it.
*You must want FREEDOM!
*I was not born to be a slave!
*I am not a DEFECTIVE CREATURE!
*I will LEARN to BE FREE!

3) A Plan was devised for our FREEDOM!!!

RESULTS
1) Believers are no longer slaves to sin.
*The issue is DEAD!
*This matter is not negotiable!
*I AM FREE!
*I have died to sin; why do I go back and pick cotton for the devil??
*And if I do return to the cotton fields, I AM STILL FREE TO LEAVE ANYTIME I CHOOSE!
*NO ONE can force me to stay in slavery.
*Sin doesn't die for believers but the SLAVERY to it dies!
*SO GET BUSY AND DISCIPLINE YOU WILD AND STUBBORN WILL!

2) Freedom from Sin's Slavery must be accepted by FAITH!
*I have to break free of believing sin provides ANYTHING GOOD!!
*He wants me to trust Him with my MIND!

3) Believers are supernaturally helped in their hour of temptation!
Just as a parent helps a child thru struggles, God is present to guide and help us.

Healing thru Music

Soaking in truth... kind of like a balm of aloe cooling a sun burn...

HOLD MY HEART
by 10th Ave North
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ry6udsW9leA
How long must I pray, must I pray to You

How long must I wait, must I wait for You

How long 'till I see Your face

See You shining through

I'm on my knees

Begging You to notice me

I'm on my knees

Father, will You turn to me, yeah?



One tear in the dropping rain

One voice in a sea of pain

Could the Maker of the stars

Hear the sound of my breaking heart?

One life is all I am

Right now I can barely stand

If You're everything You say You are

Would You come close and hold my heart?



I've been so afraid, afraid to close my eyes

So much can slip away before I say goodbye

But if there's no other way

I'm done asking why'

Cause I'm on my knees

Begging You to turn to me

I'm on my knees

Father, will You run to me, yeah?



One tear in the dropping rain

One voice in a sea of pain

Could the Maker of the stars

Hear the sound of my breaking heart?

One life is all I am

Right now I can barely stand

If You're everything You say You are

Would You come close and hold my heart?



So many questions without answers

Your promises remain

I can't see but I'll take my chances

To hear You call my name

To hear You call my name



One tear in the dropping rain

One voice in a sea of pain

Could the Maker of the stars

Hear the sound of my breaking heart?

One life is all I am

Right now I can barely stand

If You're everything You say You are

Would You come close and hold my heart?

Hold my heart

Could You hold my heart?

Hold my heart

THIS IS WHERE THE HEALING BEGINS
by 10th Ave North
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88xHIwd4CWM
So you thought you had to keep this up

All the work that you do

So we think that you're good

And you can't believe it's not enough

All the walls you built up

Are just glass on the outside

So let 'em fall down

There's freedom waiting in the sound

When you let your walls fall to the ground

We're here now



This is where the healing begins, oh

This is where the healing starts

When you come to where you're broken within

The light meets the dark
The light meets the dark

Afraid to let your secrets out

Everything that you hide

Can come crashing through the door now

But too scared to face all your fear

So you hide but you find

That the shame won't disappear

So let it fall down

There's freedom waiting in the sound

When you let your walls fall to the ground

We're here now
We're here now, oh

This is where the healing begins, oh

This is where the healing starts

When you come to where you're broken within

The light meets the dark

The light meets the dark

Sparks will fly as grace collides

With the dark inside of us

So please don't fight

This coming light

Let this blood come cover us

His blood can cover us

This is where the healing begins, oh

This is where the healing starts

When you come to where you're broken within

The light meets the dark

The light meets the dark

WHAT FAITH CAN DO
by Kutless
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTNBWv33-QI
Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes and make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think it’s more than you can take
But you're stronger, stronger than you know
Don’t you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

It doesn’t matter what you’ve heard
Impossible is not a word
It’s just a reason for someone not to try
Everybody’s scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It’ll be alright
Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

Overcome the odds
You don't have a chance
(That’s what faith can do)
When the world says you can’t
It’ll tell you that you can!

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do
That's what faith can do!
Even if you fall sometimes
You will have the strength to rise

There are no words to say...

BY YOUR SIDE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CdjRmM0Q0qs

Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away
Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching
as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run
And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life(Chorus 2x)

Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go


GOD GAVE ME YOU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7M7cJ4DydQ&feature=related

I’ve been a walking heartache
I’ve made a mess of me
The person that I’ve been lately
Ain’t who I wanna be

But you stay here right beside me

Watch as the storm goes through

And I need you

God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
For when I think I’ve lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you

There’s more here than what we're seeing
A divine conspiracy
That you, an angel lovely
Could somehow fall for me
You’ll always be love’s great martyr
Ill be the flattered fool
and I need you


God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
For when I think I’ve lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you

On my own I’m only
Half of what I could be
I can’t do without you
We are stitched together
And what love has tethered
I pray we never undo

God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt

For when I think I’ve lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you, gave me you. Gave me you.

The Rules of the Game

I am reading a book by Ravi Zacharias entitled, "Recapture the Wonder." Having only read through the second chapter, I have already found myself needing to stop and ponder many of his insights.



Chapter 2 analyzes life through comparisons to games and theater. Shakespeare is quoted as saying "All the world's a stage. And all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts."



Ravi Zacharias shares his story of trying to design a tennis court and play the game with his friends without ever being taught the rules. Their attempts are futile as any game would be when the rules are unknown or changable. His metaphor illustrates how "the game is played not to protect the rules, rather the rules are made to protect the game."



In his illustration, the rules are obviously God's Word and the game is this life we live. Thus, when translated the quote reads, "Life is lived not to obey God's law, rather God's law is made to protect our lives."



He takes us to David and his experiences with God's boundaries. For "David, of course, knows what it was to try to push back the boundary lines of God and find himself cornered instead. Having tasted stolen waters, he found out they were bitter. He traded a lifetime of regret for a few moments of pleasure. Yet when he lived within the parameters God had set in place, he found out that the law is perfect, tasting sweeter than the honeycomb. His delight was boundless." (Zacharias, p.36)



When God has so clearly defined His boundaries for life, it is no wonder Satan camps out at any extreme, trying to get us to leave God's security. Zacharias claims, "the legalist loses sight of living while trying to obey the rules" while "the hedonist loses sight of the rules while supposedly protecting life - as if God's moral framework consisted of arbitrary mandates to make life difficult." Satan, although subtle and incredibly effective at his lies, is still so predictable.

2 Cor. 4:4 "The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God."

Isaiah 6:10b "Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts, and turn and be healed."

I am reminded of research done in Child Psychology demonstrating childrens' willingness to explore the entire playground all the way to the street, provided there is a fence protecting them from the traffic. If, however, that fence is removed, the children huddle together towards the center of the playground and the building. Zacharias quotes G. K. Chesterton who advised, "'Before you remove any fence, always first seek to ask why it was put there in the first place.' You see, every boundary set by God points to something worth protecting and if you are to protect the wonder of existence, God's instruction book is the place to turn."



I have recently uncovered something (for my life) even more remarkable than God's plan to provide us with our own instruction manual. He also claims to change our very hearts, molding us into His likeness, enabling us to be more like Him, transforming our very desires into the likeness of His.



2 Cor. 1:21-22 "Now it is GOD who makes us and you stand firm in Christ. HE annointed us, set His seal of ownership on us, and put His Spirit in our hearts as a deposit guaranteeing what is to come."



2 Cor. 3:4 "Such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from GOD!"



Hebrews 2:18 "Because He himself suffered when He was tempted, HE IS ABLE TO HELP those who are being tempted."



I Cor. 10:13 "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And GOD IS FAITHFUL, HE will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, HE will provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."



Phil 3:9 "...not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ - the righteousness that COMES FROM GOD and is by faith.



2 Cor. 1:3-4 "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, WHO COMFORTS US in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God."



Thanking God for His comfort, His righteousness, His competence, His Spirit, His Strength, His annointing, His instructions, His LIFE!

Design

I love hearing how my children are growing in reason and logic. Their brains are maturing and developing, and as I try to guide them, it is such a wonder to hear how they put things together. Here were some of our thoughts on the creation/evolution debate.

We wondered how the scientists and inventors of our time would feel if their discoveries were downplayed as something that would have eventually evolved over time?

We thought about the computer and how many years of discovery it took to put us in a place where we can hold one in the palm of our hand. To suggest that one of the original models would eventually morph into something better is absurd.

Yet, isn't that precisely what evolution claims? Life formed and progressed on its own. Does there exist such an ability in nature for life to change and evolve on its own? And if so, how do so many animals have lifecycles or migratory patterns that are more complex than a human could ever design? Could random chance really be superior intellectually to human beings? And if so, why are things not happening randomly around us all the time? Where does the order come from? And how do we fit the order of nature with the randomness of evolution?

This controversy is way beyond my scope of ability to debate... but in homeschooling, I hope to at least address and analyze all topics no matter how difficult or broad the debate. To me, the truth of Creation resonates in Psalm 8!

Psalm 8
O Lord, Our Lord,
how majestic is your name in all the earth!
You have set your glory above the heavens.
From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise
because of your enemeies, to silence the foe and the avenger.

When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers.
the moon and the stars, which you have set in place,
what is man that you are mindful of him,
the son of man that you care for him?

You made him a lettle lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor.
You made him ruler over the works of your hands; you put everything under his feet;
all flocks and herds and the beasts of the field, the birds of the air,
and the fish of the sea, all that swim the paths of the seas.
O Lord, Our Lord
How majestic is your name in all the earth!

Dare to Desire

written by John Eldredge.



p. 79 "We are on a journey of desire. But we are not yet home. The fact is, at this point in the journey, we have only three options:



to be alive and thirsty



to be dead in our soul



to be addicted



There are no other choices. Most of the world lives in addiction; most of the church has chosen deadness."



p. 62

"ADDICTION may seem like too strong a term to some of you. The woman who is serving so faithfully at church - surely there's nothing wrong with that?..."



p.63

"I have one simple response: give it up.



If you don't think your're secretly trying to fulfill your desires like any other addict, then prove it by letting go of the things that provide you with a sense of security, or comfort, or excitement, or relief. You will soon discover the tentacles of attachment run deep in your own soul. There will be anxiousness; you'll begin to think about work or food or golf more even. Withdrawal will set in. If you can make it a week or two out of sheer will power, you will feel sadness growing in your soul, a deep sense of loss. Lethargy and a lack of motivation will follow."



So where are those who are alive and thirsty??? Why are they so hard to find???

Believing and Pleasing

Have you ever been challenged to put your name in place of "love" when reading I Cor. 13? It can be a very thought-provoking and personally revealing experience. Back in December I read Romans 4:18 and for whatever reason, felt compelled to replace Abraham's name with my name. It has haunted me (in a good way) ever since!!



Romans 4:18

Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations just as it had been said to him, "So shall your offspring be."

Against all hope, Michelle in hope believed and so... whatever He has promised me WILL COME TO PASS!



Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead, since he was about a hundred years old and that Sarah's womb was also dead.

Without weakening in MY faith, I face the facts... my situation may look bleak... His promises may appear impossible... I may be completely used up.



Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had the power to do what He had promised.

Yet I WILL NOT waver through unbelief regarding the promises of God, but AM STRENGTHENED in my faith and give glory to God, being FULLY persuaded that God has the power to do what he has promised.



That can be true for each of us... and that is MIND-BLOWING! REALLY!!!



Because He promises each of us so many good things... I just have to believe He's GOOD...

That He's real, honest, able, & willing...

How can Satan be so deceivingly powerful that most of us doubt this... most of the time?



"Come to me all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28



"Seek ye first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." - Matthew 6:33



"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For EVERYONE who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, THE DOOR WILL BE OPENED!!" - Matthew 7:7-8



This is what the Lord says, "Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the Lord. He will be like a bush in the wastelands; he will not see prosperity when it comes. He will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives.

BUT, blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes, its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit." - Jeremiah 17:5-8



I personally have wanted nothing more from life than to be pleasing... to somebody. Again, in His goodness, God tells me exactly how I DO please Him.



"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." -Hebrews 11:1

"And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him." -Hebrews 11:6



How silly would it be to ask my children if they "believed" in me? They see me; they hold me; they experience me... of course, they believe in me!



But, it would be perfectly reasonable to ask them if they "believed" I was good! Their answers might vary... but from my perspective anything short of a resounding "YES" would feel tragic! I am good to them and, although far from perfect, to suggest I am not good to them would be a lie!



Isn't this all God is really asking from each of us? Just to acknowledge Him as our Creator, our Daddy, able and willing to do the good that He's promised? ...to take Him at His word... join His Kingdom...and watch as He pours out His blessings.



He even tells us He's already doing and will continue to do MOST of the heavy lifting!



"No one can come to me unless THE FATHER who sent me draws him, and I will raise him up at the last day." - John 6:44



"We know also that THE SON OF GOD has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know him who is true." -I John 5:20



"We do not know what we ought to pray for, but THE SPIRIT himself intercedes with groans words cannot express." Rom 8:26



"Now HE who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will also supply and increase your store of seed and will enlarge the harvest of your righteousness." 2 Cor. 9:10



"...for it is GOD who works in you to work and to act according to His good purpose." -Phil 2:13



"For GOD did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline." -2 Timothy 1:7



THANKING GOD THAT ALL THAT WORK IS NOT LEFT UP TO ME!!

Haiti's Devastation

I Peter 4:1-11
Therefore, since Christ suffered in His body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude, because he who has suffered in his body is done with sin. As a result, he does not live the rest of his earthly life for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God. For you have spent enough time in the past doing what pagans choose to do - living in debauchery, lust, drunkenness, orgies, carousing and detestable idolatry. They think it strange that you do not plunge with them into the same flood of dissipation, and they heap abuse on you. But they will have to give account to him who is ready to judge the living and the dead. For this is the reason the gospel was preached even to those who are now dead, so that they might be judged according to men in regard to the body, but live according to God in regard to the spirit. THE END OF ALL THINGS IS NEAR. Therefore be clearminded and self-controlled so that you can pray. Above all, love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in it various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever amen.

The end of all things is near... may be referring to Christ's return... but as the people of Haiti testify... the future is not ours to determine... even as Americans living in the land of the Free and the Home of the Brave!

Please join with me in seeking a clear mind and self-control so that we might pray for these people. Please also pray for Paul Emery and Paul Cloutier, men of faith from Gainesville currently serving Christ in Haiti. May the people there receive all that they need physically... and also be offered hope and love... the person of Jesus.

Birthday Boy!

Just reflecting on yesterday. My boy turned the big "12"!! How can it be that I have been his mother that long? How can it be that we are 2/3rds through his "childhood"? How can it be that if he were to follow in my shoes, he could be married in 7 years and having my grandbabies in 10? To think... Joshua and I... "grandparents!" (SOMEDAY:)

Such an amazing thought... even more amazing is the fact that God has blessed us so richly over these past 16 years of marriage. We just returned from a much needed break...cruising thru the Western Caribbean! What a joy to SLEEP!! and to reflect on our years together. When we married, we both so desperately wanted to serve our Lord together. Little did we know, in order to serve God, we had to let Him refine us into reflecting more of His image than our own. This process has been quite painful and even heartbreaking at times... but to know that it is through each one of these experiences that we have been blessed with a greater, deeper and more thorough understanding of our God and His love for us is the greatest of blessings.

Proverbs 3:11 "My son, do not despise the Lord's discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in."